Who Forgot the Matzah? Passover Humor…

titleIt wasn’t until I drove 40 minutes in Atlanta traffic to the synagogue last night that I realized I remembered the 1,036 other things I had to bring and forgot the one, most important thing . . . matza!

We had four cases of matza in our home along with boxes and baskets of supplies for the congregational Seder on the second night of Passover. I loaded my Suburban so full of stuff, there was room for little else.

Some people have no idea the details involved in the life of a small-time rabbi!

So I arrive at the synagogue and bring in all the supplies, by which time volunteers are showing up to help set up. We’re all laughing and having fun working together, when someone says: “Isn’t it time we made the matza toshes.”

The blood drained from my face and an electric “oh no” feeling charged up my spine. In fact, it was like in some movie I remember, with “ooooohhhhh nnnooooo” in slow motion playing in my mind, “Iiiii fffooorrrggggotttt the mmmmaaatttzzzaahhh.”

We decided there was nothing else to do but break the Yom Tov by running to the local Kroger and buying matza (should a rabbi admit to such a thing on a public forum?).

It was only the beginning of a night filled with hilarity.

There was the troublemaker table who told me before the event, “Say the word matza as much as you can during the Seder.” I agreed and later I saw them taking a drink of wine each time I said the word. Matza was the drinking word for these scoundrels. I could tell that for at least one of them I had said the word matza a dozen too many times!

Then there were the kids. As we sang Dayeinu, they made throat-cutting motions each time we said the “day-” part (pronounced “die”). Such hooligans!

Anyway, it was a great evening. And who knew the rabbi would forget the single most important element for a Passover. Aren’t I supposed to be like an expert or something?


About Derek Leman

IT guy working in the associations industry. Formerly a congregational rabbi. Dad of 8. Nerd.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Passover. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Who Forgot the Matzah? Passover Humor…

  1. toma4moshiach says:

    Now if only someone forgot the Gefilte fish…Oops did I say that out loud.

  2. carmenjs1 says:

    That’s great! What an awesome GRACIOUS assembly you have..

    shalom aleichem!

  3. wordpress4kerner says:

    Hey Derek, (this is Natalie)

    I’m so sad that I didn’t get to come home for Passover this year! I hope the Seder was great, it definitely sounds like it was.

    Anyways, I thought you’d find it interesting that the verb “aphikneomai” (perfect tense “aphikomen”) happened to come up in my Greek vocabulary this week!

  4. jonboze says:

    Wow, I feel so much better knowing I’m not the only one who forgot the matza this year.

  5. rabbiadam says:

    Last night, I was giving a Passover demonstration (sort of like JfJ’s “Christ in the Passover,” only, in my not-so-humble-opinion, better ;-) for the ministry we sublet from (they meet on Erev Shabbat, but are not really Sabbath observant). I forgot:

    Plate for Elijah
    Wine Goblets (other than Elijah’s)
    Matzah Tash
    Whole maror (we had the bottled kind)
    Shank bone
    Nice small disposable cups for Cup of Redemption/Communion
    Several other things I wanted

    Fortunately, I had prepared a Powerpoint with pictures of everything, but it was a little embarrassing when I didn’t have the stuff as promised. It went well, though.

    Hey, Derek — MATZAH!

  6. sidefall says:

    I bought some matzah from a (non-Jewish) supermarket on friday. It was a well-known brand with a hechsher so I didn’t bother to look at it in detail. Only when I got home did I see it said on the side of the box, “not kosher for passover”!!! The word d’oh springs to mind. Can I claim the stupidity prize?

  7. rabbiadam says:

    The Orthodox rules for being kosher for Passover are far stricter than the Bible requires. Don’t worry about it.

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